I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
