i barfeds in our rink
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
