Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
