John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
