you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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