I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Randomize
