You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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