Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
