just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I could fuck to npr.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
