oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
