hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Randomize
