the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She announced her abortion via fbk
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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