This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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