is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
smell my finger.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
