those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
