I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
