Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Your cock deserves a montage
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
