Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think I died a long time ago.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
