I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Randomize
