Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
