Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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