I don't usually arrange sex via text message
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
