Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
