So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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