i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
