It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
