dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
