he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
only you would photoshop your dick
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
