There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
