he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
