omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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