Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
