soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
