She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Brb crying the tears of my youth
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
