I want to make a zoo with you.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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