listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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