I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
