Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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