If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
