in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
