I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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