He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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