After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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