Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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