You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
