Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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