Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
