my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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