every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize