Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it's like heaven, but drunker
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
