Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
