I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
